The End of Dreams, The Beggining of Destiny

--May 1, 2012 at 11p.m. Breaking News in Atlanta, Georgia.: "Tyler Perry Studios have caught on fire and has severe damage..." a night for me in which minutes before was the beggining of a break down, but the epoch of  a breakthrough.




I was contentious, angry at myself and wondering why I kept hesitating to write an article that God ordered me to write months, but seemingly ages ago. Writing the article was what I meant to do for that day and something that was aligned in my vision, but instead I continued in the usual tuesday routine when I'm off work: Watch "Glee", tweet needlessly about the episode, and continue to procrastinate.

However, that night in particular proved to be a major upset. It made me sit back and assess my life. what Exactly was I doing and where Exactly was I going. I've had big dreams for as long as I can remember, and just having them never seemed to be getting me anywhere. In fact, sometimes dreams have a tendency to cloud your mind and effect good judgement. I have always been a perpetual dreamer, but the life I live and the life I've seen are so completely opposite that the creative tension in between finally broke and made me miserable. Something had to give and that something was me. It struck me that even though I have all these dreams, if they aren't truly based in the plan of God, they're useless. Not only that, but everyday does not run the same, each and every day requires communication with God for the strength, victory, and prosperity of THAT day, period.

It's necessary to put God first in whatever we do for it to generate the most purpose and extremely awesome results. That night, In that very moment I realized maybe some, Ok well maybe all of the dreams I've held in my life we're not based on the foundation of God. Most of the aspirations I clung to the most we're completely out of His perspective. It was a breaking moment, but it also a waking moment. It was definitely a life altering experience. That night really woke me up and made me the most conscious I have ever been. Even though I have had a lot of breakthroughs in my spirit before, I felt like I could see life for the first time. I decided to get and stand in the specific position God has given me, regardless of what goes on the outside.

I dedicated that night to God, praised Him for the revelation, and decided to leave all those dreams at the alter. No later than five minutes after the desicion was sealed in my spirit, the breaking news update blasted from the television: "Tyler Perry Studios On Fire" I instantly got the message. I have always recognized Tyler Perry as the trail blazer and magnate for everything I wanted to do in the media and communications industry. So the sacrifice of those dreams at the alter, was now so official that it was on the outside of me. Basically God was saying, "It's not about Tyler Perry paving the way or anyone else, It's about your adherence to my will".

Message Taken! It's been days since that faithful fire and more news has been given only confirming the message, and incidences are occuring that are linking me so directly to destiny, that I've literally been kicked into action. I can now definitely say that this Breath Of Life Daily has never been so real.

If you have ever had dreams or high aspirations, don't be afraid to give them up, and put your life's perspective and purpose into the plans of God for your life. He knows what's best and the ultimate outcome is in your favor. Be Blessed.


Have a Great Weekend!!

Live It Up, or Give It Up!

So for the past couple of months, I've been coming more and more into the awareness that life doesn't care because it expects you to. Life is careless, basically if you don't move it will continue to 'Happen' without your consent. My own inactivity has gotten the best of me. For so long I've been used to having to do things in uniformity. After High School you're pretty much on your own, the thing is I've been out of high school for five years now. The only thing that's uniform now is work because everyone has to make a living. I believe the place where I am now is such a comfortable place for people to fall into and some stay forever:

 'Have a job, and even if it's not passionately fulfilling, or even financially liberating, just stay there because it gets you by.'

When we grow up life go's far differently from the Disney version that we anticipated it to be as a child. That still doesn't mean we should give up. The truth is, all that greatness, majesty, and glory that we see on television is only a distorted imitation of the fulfilment we attest to when walking in the purpose of God.

Being a person of knowledge with such promise on your life that people can visibly see should seemingly only incline us to that purpose: "Oh, You're so talented." or "Oh, you have such potential." It's easy for others to see the prophesy on the outside, but until we feel it on the inside it's a whole different ballgame. That's why prayer is so important, It gives us strength and it rejuvenates the dream but more importantly the promise. The promise is the purpose and covenant of God within us that we can only see for ourselves. It's the thing we drive for, we'll supposedly... since my own stagnation this is only becoming more and more clear. If we don't conquer life it will conquer us. The movement starts from within.

Beginning the direction and order of the movement is even more simple than we make it. It starts in the relationship with God. Ultimately the direction and the purpose come from the covenant.

 If our soul isn't truly fueled by this passion then it will be so easy to give up on whatever we're doing. From time to time I will hear my Pastor say that "Holiness is Commitment." It's like a marriage. A covenant is an agreement that requires cooperation from both parties. We can't expect God to bless(empower) our inactivity. And we can't keep holding on to the promise and not engage the resources. Faith without works is dead*, Apparently the wake-up call for me today was the fact that I don't want to be. Riding in the car while my grandmother was driving real crazy woke up a slight sense of fear. But then came the conviction. "What are you scared for?" Truth is I really haven't been giving life so much purpose or intention that I should be anxious of death, that's just me being honest. If life isn't lived with the liveliness of purpose, and "authentic fear" which is Godly respect, then it's like we're just living dead anyway.

The wake-up call has definitely been heeded: Time for me to get to business. "Live it up or give it up." And if we only live a life that "fits the bills" then we've already gave up.

*James 2:17, Ephesians 5:27, 2 Corinthians 11:2

Transcending "The Help": The Power of Black Bloggers

After much Ado, I finally saw "The Help" I knew it was still relevant because there is still hate in the world that good triumphs over, but I was along with those still riding the fence as to why Hollywood would want to get back into reminiscing, with period pieces on slavery and segregation. I would be lying If I said I didn't like the movie, but It's not so monumental as anything else we've seen in the past. Actually the only thing I really liked about it, if any heard beyond "Minnie's Chocolate Pie", was the message it had for writers. The power of a good story still, and always will sell no matter what time period, and more importantly it has the ability to enlighten and elevate the mindset of others.

"The Help" was a message in a message, that played out in real life just like it did in the book, and then in the film. As a resident of the south I watched as Whites and Blacks raged and delighted over this one book. Making it reflectional, as a story within a story, or a book within a book, proved to be a highly genius move on the part of Kathryn Stockett. and I didn't read the book, but it was very refreshing that the movie didn't end with a definite "fairy-tale like, happily ever after ending".  No there we're bitter repercussions on the part of the offended, and Aibileen was off on the road to find another livelihood and start over, showing that any action is always subject to consequences, but in the end Aibileen still held the dignity of self-respect. Life is a journey, not a destination and all of us have to walk through it in our own consciousness.

I would recommend "The Help" to any writer who's considered giving up the craft because they felt it was unimportant. Much more in blogging where there is an infinite, even broader possibility to specialize in our niche, to hone our own specific brand and share our authentic voice with the world continually. Words, voices, and influence count, literally; "The Help" is a book written by a writer, that sold over 400,000 copies, with a film that made over 96.6 million dollars. Yes, It was written by a white woman, but it's true glory is in that, it was good enough to catch the attention of none other than our beloved sweetheart: Oprah, who also studied Journalism and communication.

So as black writers, bloggers, and entrepreneurs in a month that's dedicated to cherishing the history and the triumph of our people, it's imperative that we raise the standard and rise above the mindset of just merely being "the help". We have the power to create and reflect much more than the back in the day memories and trials of being a house servant . Today is a new day! We have the education and the resources to make an impact on the nation and the world abroad.  This also includes the media and entertainment fields. This year as "The Help" is sweeping the award show circuit, it's the same scenario that brings a question to my mind. "Why is this mostly white audience clapping so hard?" "Do they love to see the same image of black folks replayed over and over again?"

But isn't that the same thing all people tend to do? Repeat behaviors. When do we ever grow and get over the ignorance. No matter what race you are, Ignorance and your mindset will have you enslaved. It will keep you as the "servant". In this age of black bloggers, journalists, and free-thinkers we have the obligation to eminently transcend the role of "the help". To honor this month and our lives we should take the power of now, to triumph black history, evade black theory, and become black victory.

Power, Vision, and Words

Sometimes it's easy to get lost in thought, but focus is such a predominant factor of life. Life is so funny that it's set up in a way that if you don't prioritize you will get lost. We can't be too righteous or too doubtful we can only focus, it's the only thing that works, focus is important. In Psalm 39 David apparently tried "sitting pretty" as to keep from saying anything wrong. It didn't work!


^{(Psalms 39: 1-3)
1} I said, “I will watch my ways
and keep my tongue from sin;
I will put a muzzle on my mouth
while in the presence of the wicked.”
² So I remained utterly silent,
not even saying anything good.
But my anguish increased;
³ my heart grew hot within me.
While I meditated, the fire burned;

How often does this happen?  When we begin to open our mouths and really focus on God, the spirit and the fire comes and that power in that moment is like no other. Notice He Say's "when I didn't say anything  my anguish increased. So many times we let life just happen, we let it go by without a word spoken and don't take up our power to speak. But the power is in the praise, and it's the speaking up that makes all the difference. When we focus on God in praise, the fire of the spirit overtakes us. We can produce we can do anything because that power is for creativity. It's strength to begin to move and act to shift circumstances.

Focus promotes fertility. Whatever you meditate on you will produce. David said: "As I meditated, the fire burned." "Then I spoke with my tongue" that's so familiar because it really happens. When the fire comes it cannot be held in. Words are powerful and they are definitely tools that are meant to be used. It's important to focus on the Lord Because our vision, and the vision for our lives in Him. Anything else we look for outside of purpose fails miserably. We can go so far and in the wrong way and be lost, but the right answer is always waiting, and it's nowhere but in the Lord.

 ( vs 7.) "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you."

 The Power, the Vision, and the Words are in the Lord. What are you looking for and where are you placing your meditation?
 

You Betta' Represent!!

As I went about doing chores today, which is something I'll admit that I'm not eagerly fond of doing, thoughts of  doing it my best and not half heartedly, to try and get to what I really wanted to do danced in my head. That song "Do Everything" you do to the glory, was also playing in the tv/radio station that is my brain. My guess is that the song was derived from Colossians 3:23 "whatsoever ye do, work heartily, as unto the Lord, and not unto men;" I cleaned good.... and further as I contemplated what that scripture meant. "Do it because you're doing it FOR God?"  I thought. "probably not, because yes it belongs to GOD, but I'm still doing it for my benefit". Ofcourse whatever we do for GOD is for our own benefit. So intrinsically If I'm doing this to honor God, what gift does he get? How did it benefit GOD for me to do these chores with the best that I had? Simple: Bragging Rights!!

Yes, I said it: bragging rights. When we do a job, any job and we claim to be a child/follower of God it kinda looks bad when it's not done well. Not kinda, it does look bad! No one wants to claim something that's a mess. Being a girl from the south at this point all I could picture was my ghetto/country cousin saying "You Betta' Represent!!" and represent is right. We are a represention of those to whom and which we are related. Whether it be a gang, a clan, a team, or an organization excellence in some form, is not the exception, it is the rule.

To be a good team player takes winning. How much more being the "Body of Christ".  When we do our best in what we do, we are representing God in a positive light. When somebody walks by and see's how amazingly those floors are shined and say's "WOW!" God get's the glory. When we've done a great job people are more inclined to be apart of our team. Being the best helps to effectively witness and minister to anyone. It makes us a standard. I remember it being preached that in order to exalt Job further, God boasted on Him to the enemy.  He practically held up his credentials before the devil

"Then the LORD asked Satan, "Have you noticed my servant Job? He is the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless--a man of complete integrity...." (Job 1:8)

at the end when Job went through all that turmoil to learn to "really" trust God,  He was increased even greater than before. When we believe in God, we become fit for a blessing. Our credentials make us worthy to represent and we represent because of our credentials; we're God's kids. We're supposed to be great, and do our best because God made us, we are a reflection of Him, we're on His team and we had better represent!


This is my take. What are some other ways and reasons we should do everything we do to the glory of God? In what ways do you honor Him with your works?

I Won't Go Back

Church was so awesome today it usually is, but it was something about today that was just DIFFERENT. I did miss the annual leadership meeting that we have on saturdays along with dance practice and even though it was tempting to use the excuse of not having a car, to miss church as well. I didnt do it I made the desicion to reverance GOD to put Him first out of thankfulness.

I had to go to chuch because I had to be there to worship Him and Thank Him It is not myself that has gotten myself through the week. It was GOD so not taking one day out of the week to worship Him, (in my head) would hae just been wrong. When I went there today and I was in worship, making up my mind to focus and put him first no matter what. I heard His spirit once again and it spoke to me. sadly words the are so familiar to what I have heard before along the lines of "put me first" simply "you're not doing this on your own" you can't put me first and everything else lines up." I made up in my mind that this was the final time as william mcdowell's "I wont go back" played in the background I declared to myself that I indeed won't go back. But how do you keep from going back to what youre used to?

How do you make that one time you've been inspired motivated, moved, different from every other time? It comes with focus making the move to put God first in your life with all you got. We find the best of ourselves in GOD, but in actuality we don't find GOD because He is always there. He never lost us. Through blogs past I've been really talking about focus and producing instead of consuming, but it's time to be less talk and more action this time I am making the decree that I really wont go back. 'Tis my season to improve. God bless you all!!

More Producing, Less consuming.

The difference between producing and consuming is so vast that they're not only polar opposites, but it's so major that sometimes it easy to confuse the two. When we are just wasting time say watching a video online or doing anything else that's unproductive having fun, being entertained, we can do it all night, but when we actually wanna make the move to do something effective towards our goals the sleepiness sets in earlier than usual. It's so much easier to consume than it is to produce. A lot of my life I have been lost in the simplicity of consumption. After all this is America "My Country" where the debt is now in the trillions. America is not to be blamed completely, I suppose I will take some of the blame. "Just Kidding." I'm fully aware that  a lot of my debt  was my fault:)

No matter whose fault it was, Now is the time for me to stop making excuses and actually do. I know better now and it's time to stop making excuses period. It's time to start producing. The difference between now and then was ignorance, My own ignorance. The great thing about life is that once you see the right way you can turn around and start going in it. It's time for me to put everything else aside and start producing like I'm supposed to. The more you produce and give your all in, the more you have, in consuming you're left with nothing. As I said producing is significantly harder than the consuming I've always known, but I'll just have to get over it and bite the bullet if I ever wanna go anywhere. With that being said it's time to produce and NEVER look back.

The Home Inside My Soul

I've come to the conclusion that people, me in particular spend a good deal of their time looking, trying to find what will satisfy, what will fulfill, always looking for something. I love the proverb: "Life is a journey, not a destination".  It's true because on this journey home is inside of us, Glory is inside of us, everything we need to fulfill, because when we put GOD first we are fulfilled. Everything we need to thrive is manufactured by us, by the will and effort we put forth. We think Life is supposed to be a means to some grand ending, when in actuality we carry home within us. We carry it everywhere we go, because we are the home we seek. We have not only a home but, a kingdom inside of us. Yet we seek for the glory through stardom, or recognition, or acceptance. We're always looking but why are we looking for what we can easily manifest on the inside.

I personally make the declaration that I'm done looking. In this year It's time to cultivate home before I make the move to do anything else, to take care of Home. It's time to get the foundation right, because if the foundation is not right anything else we build will not stand. I want to build in this year, and not just sandcastles that will wash away with the weather, but monuments. It's time to really get going. For 21 days I'm cutting myself off from anything else superfluous to take the time to cultivate whats on the inside; I'll have only water, vegetables, much prayer, and organization. Ive spent most of my life looking for an outside glory when all the time the glory was within, but this year is the year to manifest it, like no other one. I'm Ready.

Will anybody else join me? If so continue to let me know of your progress, as I will share mine.

Today Was A blesssed Day 11/10/2011 (Happy 11/11/11!)

Today was a blessed day. *in my Ice cube voice*  Today was so interestingly amazing. Can anybody tell me why people were just coming up to me giving me things, and people who I completely forgot I gave money to, came up and paid me? Do you ever get that feeling like God is up to something? Well I felt like that today all day My spirit was so invigorated. when i was sitting with co-workers and they work talking about nothing i was interested in, nothing life giving. I started up my own conversation about how good church was on Sunday. The more I went in depth with it the more empowered I felt and the message came back to me, loved that! and my mind cleared up I was able to share what was authentically really me with others that is the is the helper, the inspiration. On my blog lately I have been sharing the word and it has been an interesting journey. The more deliberately I go for God the more His presence comes, but now seemingly its like its coming of its own accord.

First I met up with a co-worker in the break-room and He had his bible and we started discussing the word. Awesome! then I ran into an old friend and we started talking about empowerment and purpose. literally OMG! its like God is making His presence known and steadily confirming that its my time, time for a new season of glory, time for a real breakthrough in my life and I love it. I also felt fresh and invigorated because today was the day to establish and declare my platform as a writer can you say amazing its like the gift that you have in you makes everything in your life so much more clear when you put a label on it. Well, I definitely have a label for this day and I call it: BLESSED.I never wanna forget it, I thank God for it and felt it was worth sharing. My documentation of excellence, Well have a goodnight all! continue to be blessed:)

The Greater The Struggle...The Stronger The Muscle.

Life is so interesting, perhaps too interesting... Some drama is glamorized while some is just shameful. There are times in life when its easy to be seriously confused. and the infamous question is "Dang! Why Me God?" Given such situations like living with family, who are not necessarily the cleanest. Is just a minor situation compared to the disgust some people have to experience as a history. Why do some people have such "great lives" that they are just born into, while others have horrible ones that seemingly follow them for their entire lives?...If They Are Not Careful. It's crazy the struggle of life is serious and it is real but why so?

The ones born in the projects is a wide gap from the ones born with silver spoons.This range is a great phenomenon and mystery of God. Perhaps that's where the greatest struggle comes in to discover the mystery of self, and in revelation gain empowerment. The gap of poverty and wealth is so deep because it always has been the dividing line that only the incredibly strong...well strongly disciplined can conquer. If that's the case doesn't being in the slums give one the greatest advantage? It Does.

From the history and experience of our lives we are meant to learn and grow. putting that knowledge to use gives us the muscle. The greatest innovation and creativity comes from those who lacked that which was standard. We have to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and turn around and use that knowledge for the better. It is not the rich or the poor but the disciplined who succeed. So when we ask ourselves why should I attempt this when its just gonna get back to the same condition or messed up even worse we should remind ourselves that its in the repetition, the continued acts of putting care and purpose first that we grow. That we learn and our muscle is developed to great effectiveness.

It's in great feat that we develop great strength. Even if nobody else does, take the out time to care again and again because care requires discipline. In your caring the results you get will continue to be your strength.because you we're born at the bottom means you we're built for the top and everyone has a bottom, but the muscle makes all the difference. Increase Only Comes With Action, and when we maintain the discipline to continually do whats right we build not only muscle, but character along the way, So Make sure you build to win!

"How To Succeed From The Grave"

This Morning as I  stood in awe, and watched along with the world the commencement and Honor of The Memorial To Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. compassion could not help but be freshly reignited in me. The other day while writing an article that made mention of Dr Martin Luther King Jr. As a prime example the details of his death struck me; He had been shot. He had been shot for know other reason, but that He held strongly to His convictions and beliefs, Because He followed His Dreams. The devastation of the fact caused me to do some serious rewording and reexamining of the example altogether. Of course after all it was more liberating than it was disheartening.

I recognize that standing up despite opposition is what being BOLD is all about. and what my inspiration really is, but how often do we underestimate the parameters of boldness? Taking our life and our mission seriously is not something to play with or be taken lightly. As I continued to watched the memorial there was one profound point mentioned by Andrew Johnson that struck me and stayed with me. "It's Not How You Die, It's What You Die For," this statement renewed the comfort-ability of my boldness because Its packed with the spiritual wisdom and zeal that far bypasses mere intellect. Think Jesus Christ Love.

For That I'm glad, not only did it move me, but It reminded me of a similarly  powerful statement from another deceased power player who society recently stood in awe of: Steve Jobs. It was not hatred that Steve Jobs faced, but His own illness that he stared into the dark evil of, in his journey through life. It was this injustice that sparked Him to action:

    "Remembering that I'll Be Dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything-- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure-- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

    Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." -Steve Jobs

If we have the gratefulness and thankfulness for life we're  more inclined to be innovative or to stand up with all our hearts for what we truly believe in, for what's just, for what's right and those things that will be for an advancement to society. This gratefulness can only come with being grateful for who we are as individuals. This overwhelming emotion is built  from knowing and following our passion and seeing it as nothing short of the purpose inside of us.

Everyday is a new day to be thankful for who we are, to be bold and to create, to make significant advances from the history we've been given. Appreciation of purpose is the initial key to success. Walking in purpose is not only imperative to success, but well being. If You don't have one then take the time out of the business of your life and acknowledge God as your creator."For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."(Jeremiah 29:11)  

No doubt because you have life you were created.  All business with no destination, no purpose is life going to waste. It's pretty much you just wasting your time. Don't just make activity, make success so much so that it speaks from beyond the grave. The Legend Of  Martin Luther King Jr, Steve Jobs, and Jesus Christ will for ever live on because a life lived successfully exceeds the span of time.

Who Says Awkward Is Ok?

I recently discovered a new web-series entitled "The Mis-Adventures of an Awkward Black Girl" the show was absolutely crazy and ridiculously funny! I was seriously about to "bust-a-gut". No doubt what ultimately drew me to the title was not only being a black girl, but the admission of my own awkwardness. I went to bed excited, jazzed up about the series in the works to become a half hour T.V. sitcom. It fit me very well; cultured, fashionable, relate-able, but WAIT........... something is wrong. What Is Awkward? Doesn't that mean something is lowly? awry? amiss? Maybe in my teen years and in High School I was "That Girl" However, that's not something that should continually be embraced.

Although It seems that not only me, but society is embracing it more and more amongst other "Alternative Lifestyles". Its apparent because of another sitcom I happened to come up on so conveniently titled "Awkward" airing on MTV. It seems that American youth are gladly clinging to this state. Awkward is becoming the norm, but what happened to Confidence? The place where we directly pursue and achieve greatness. This way that we pass in the transformation between our teen and young adult years should not be our permanent way of life. It is more of just a transitioning experience. Seeing M TV's reflection of this, I also fell amiably in love.

It follows the title character Jenna, a fellow blogger who tries balance the daily craziness of life in a high school setting, at the end of each episode Jenna discovers and shares a new life lesson. All of which are immensely progressive. That is not only the nature of our personal struggle but the very point of it. To become better with every lesson, smarter with each passing day. What determines our competence and our empowerment is us putting those lessons to use, not following the status quo because its whats in. Our uniqueness and the idiosyncrasies of who we are is what we have to contribute and we should not do it flimsily, but in all boldness knowing that we have that power. We have the ability to shine and continue to shine, because we are capable and sufficient beings not so much with our own power, but the power of creation in us.

That's where the Confidence come in. In God's power and In God's strength we can trust and Confide. Our seeing the light in a situation gives us hope. In each and every one of those little life lessons lies the key; The answer inside of us, from the One who created us and created the environment around us so that we should thrive. So let's leave the "Awkward" to the side. In the learning acquired there is great work to do. It's time to build, time to help, Time to guide the ones in our community who are less fortunate, to teach and let the young ones know the awkwardness doesn't last forever, neither is it supposed to.

The Breaking Point On The Road To Nowhere

    Who even sits around anymore and says "woe is me"? Times are too progressive and this is the conceptual age. It's time for  the whole world, each and every  individual to arise and not meditate on what we don't have but enhance what we do. What do we have on our side that's working for us? that goes well for us? what are the resources that ARE available? seeing the good in it that easy to do, but our advantages are also easy to pass over. Has my mind been conditioned to failure and lack? I say I'm mad, I'm angry at that, I'm five seconds away from cursing, but isn't that precisely the problem. we allow things, situations and emotions to take a toll on us each and every way they want, but we fail to do something about it.  Yes maybe your history or what happened to you or how you grew up wasn't so good, but its what has made you "You".  On a recent trip to a church conference the greatness expectancy that I was looking forward to did not come about as I thought it should. what happened? wasn't there supposed to be a powerful momentous move of God? There was but my exact problem and anxiety over the event was my exact solution. I was expecting the grandness to come from the outside, to come from some other source beside myself... I was waiting. The name of the event aptly titled  "Call to War" I realized (again) that for so long in my life I have been moved by things. I have not been an active participant, but instead waited for life to make its move on me. The call to war is a call to action. In times of dire distress, In the times where we are placed in situations that  are threatening and contemptible. That's the very time we should arise knowing that God is on our side. The movement that we wait for is not on the outside, it is inside of ourselves. We have the ability to start the change the we want to see and be. I have been so nervous because I have looked at the results of the performance I have been only waiting, waiting for every other voice to tell me I wasn't good enough or that I was. I AM THE STARTER. I AM THE PERFORMER its the very reason that I live not to wait for life circumstances or peoples opinions to take action on me, but for me to take action on them "The Call" is the call from God God validating that you do in fact have it in you. If I never realize that I am the one that has action in me, that I have power in me, that me and God are the majority, then I will never get anywhere I will always keep going in circles wondering why I'm getting the bad end of the stick. The important thing for me to realize is not only that I have the power to do, but when I do, don't fancy up the results, do fantasize the outcome, but live for today, because the "new great me" that I see in me, is already in me and its not predicated on what anybody else says. Its in me allowing "the call" to be executed. allowing the very reason for my existence to shine bright. There is no great miraculous breaking point in the "church" where you are changed all of a sudden. It takes action on your part to go for your advantage. Don't be moved by the spirit move with it and take each and every day one step at a time.