Finding Power In Carrying The Torch

by: April D. Byrd

I was watching T.D. Jakes message Sunday night and he said "When his mother put him in vacation bible school she was Investing", when he said that I thought of how my own grandmother put us kids in vacation bible school, and I thought about my grandmother. I knew She passed around this time of year, so when I looked it up Sunday and saw it was the exact date she died 11 years ago, I exploded in tears immediately... initially I was a wreck. When T.D Jakes said his mom invested in him by putting him in V.B.S, that part kept my mind on my grandmother and how she had invested in me. 

Then the pastor at the second service I attended spoke on the same thing: How we can "Invest" in the lives of others. I had to pull myself together being still on the clock, but just to think about it, my grandmother's spirit was everything, it fortified me, She fortified all of the kids she raised because of her faith. I wanted to go into that depressed space and stay there mourning about her, I wanted to grieve over her life, but the holy spirit wouldn't let me. The fact is my grandmother happened! She lived!... and she lived phenomenally! Like I said her spirit was everything. She raised 4 kids in a one bedroom apartment, she worked her butt off to take care of each one of us. She didn't have to do that! Some people don't do that. I get my hard working spirit from her. Another thing that came to light about my grandmother was that she stayed in the word. She always had her big reading glasses on reading her word... and I never understood until I got older, but when we would go to church she would be so moved she would have to walk out,(because that church didn't shout), but something would hit her and touch her so, that she couldn't contain herself and I finally understand what it was. God would be talking to her.

When you stay faithful to the word like she did , God speaks to you. Every time us kids were wondering what was up with her, and embarrassed that she was "turning up" in church, God was speaking to her. and when God speaks on such a personal level it validates everything in your existence. It touches the very essence of who you are and strengthens your faith. I get that from her too. 

- 1 Timothy 1:5

So I wanted to cry I wanted to wail out and grieve, but I won't cry because her life is over, I'll rejoice that it happened. My grandmother happened!!!!! and the impact she made on my life can never be measured. I can't imagine what I would be without her. God chose to give her me. God chose to let me be raised by her! I'm so, so blessed because of it, and instead of grieving over her history, I'm gonna honor her legacy. I'm gonna prove that everything she did wasn't in vain, that all the sacrifices she made will be put to good use. I'm gonna invest in others like she invested in me, selflessly. I'm gonna Live! I'm gonna continue to live because she lived. I'm not gonna give up! I'm gonna keep running this race til the end, because she did I can... because she lived, I can. She introduced me to faith. Her very being transformed my life. She was used by God to be a vessel, and I'm gonna continue to be a vessel. I'm gonna let her light shine through me with even greater strength than I had before. Because she lived, her light is with me...and it always will be.

Her fire within me

The light that my grandmother possessed is the same light of Jesus Christ. His life was a sacrifice for us all. So we don't have to lament over his death, we can rejoice in his resurrection life and continue to carry the torch. We have the light.

 April D. Byrd is a Writer, and the creator of  breathoflifedaily.com