This Time I'll Rise
He called me today... there was a warning in me so badly not to pick up...but I couldn't resist. Why because I'd been really wondering why he hadn't called already, and even wanted to call him just to say it "Happy New Year" of course. as he did, but I resisted the tug of familiarity for my own sanity.
Last year I'd become so used to him calling at the times that were convenient for him that it was expected, becoming common place. I thought I'd overcome, but he called me, and I picked up. When I answered the excitement in me to say a simple, nice "Happy New Year" like I wanted to, was stifled. I had a dry attitude that was close to bitter. I cut him off short. I shouldn't have even answered, but I did.
When people call you and say Happy New Year, they more than likely want to be in your life for the year. My picking up woke me up, after that conversation, realizing if that frustration is inside of me, it means that there are feelings inside of me that can still be accessed. I will not allow myself to be used by the enemy or taken for granted this year!
A while back I wrote a poem pertaining to this situation called "Don't Let The Devil In." In actuality I'm not talking about this guy who called. We can serve as our own worst enemies. Sin is what happens when our actions aren't based in wholeness and rooted completely in God. We are what we let in. Where there is no enemy inside, the enemy outside can do no harm.
We read that no weapon formed against us shall prosper, we have the power to refute whatever comes against us, well that power is a direct result of being fortified with God's strength which is greater than our own. This truth comes with understanding that God is the very creator and master of every weapon created. I was allowed to be placed in a situation with a particular man for a season in my life. He wasn't the devil, my lack of self-esteem and confidence was.
I will not stay held in bondage this year, I will not stay running around in circles. I will not be taken advantage of by the devil. The devil wants us to be complacent. There are many things in our lives that can be considered the devil. There are many things that the devil works through, but we have to ask ourselves "are we inviting the devil in?" Our greatest honor is in listening to God's calling and following His will. We hear "my sheep know my voice and another they will not follow. God uses the fire and trials of our lives to wake us up and show us what's really important, but we're supposed to learn from them. I've learned my lesson. This time I'll go beyond avoidance, I'll rise above keeping the devil out. This year will be amazing, because I'll do everything I can to let God in.