Moving Forward

   by: Carla Marcelle

When you are called to fulfill a purpose, any and everything can be used to stop you from meeting your destiny. It is up to you, who face challenges and situations, to make a conscious effort to be overcomers, fighters, and victors of obstacles you face. When making this decision, you can lose friendships, relationships, and sometimes even jobs. It can be a very uncomfortable situation especially when you want so bad cling to those hindrances because it is all you know, it is what you love, and it is your safety zone.  The funny thing about it is that most times we know what the hindrances are, but we may not know what our purpose is. So for that very reason, we never fully comprehend just how much of a necessity it is for us to let go of those hindrances to move forward in our destiny by uncovering our purpose. 

However, it is in those quiet times with yourself, where you discover your gifts. It is in those times where you are not focused on the rhetoric of your situations where you discover your talents. In those times where you are not indulging with your hindrances and your obstacles, that is when your purpose begins to form.

   I know for me, one of my biggest hindrances are friendships. Because I like to be around people, I tend to just want to be around who ever is available. Not always are the people who are available conducive to my well being. Not always are the people who are available have my best interest at hand.   Often, I find my self compromising my very beliefs, morals, and standards. So instead of being that purpose driven woman of destiny, being a light in darkness of situations, I just blend right in. I conform to the very thing I do not want to be. After spending so much time conforming, I have discovered one of two things will happen. Either you will become complacent, losing your desire for your advancement, and develop a will to simply just exist; or you will get so uncomfortable in your situation, that you have to remove yourself from the very things that are holding you back.

At that point the question becomes,

When you hear the call of your destiny, will you chose to pursue it? Will you answer the call?

Or will you allow your destiny that awaits you to just dwindle away, and your purpose that you were designed to accomplish  become void; all because you did not want to endure the discomfort of your advancement. We all know there is no growth without discomfort. We can apply the same principles of our natural world to the very idea of advancing in our purpose. As a child grows into maturity they go through very uncomfortable stages called puberty; as a woman creates life in her womb, it is uncomfortable or even painful; for stamina and muscle to develop, there is a period of soreness, and pain. Its evident that we must endure pain, hardships, and discomfort to gain advancement through life, but keep in mind it is only for a moment, and the end result is always greater.

   So today I encourage you to think about those obstacles and hindrances in your life that have been placed in the way of  discovering your purpose and moving into your destiny. Make a conscious decision to move past them, and let them go. That is how you move into your victory, and gain a life full of joy and satisfaction. Do not be content to just exist. You have a greater value than that!!!

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Carla Marcelle is a Life and Purpose Coach and regular contributor to Breath Of Life Daily. For more inspirational posts from Coach Carla Stay tuned to her "Wake Up Wednesdays" segment here on BOLD Journal every Wednesday. Subscribe via e-mail and connect with @BOLDJournal on Twitter and Instagram for the latest updates.

The Weeds Among Us

(Matthew 13: 1-30)

The word of God is a seed when planted and watered grows to be great! Remember the parable of the sower? 

Some seed fell along the path, some fell on shallow rocky ground some was choked up, and some fell on good ground. We have to make sure our ground is good and fertile. that comes in focusing solely on God and His Word. Focus promotes fertility! 

There is power in studying, staying up to date and current in the word. When we bother to take care of the word God has given us we will yield and reap great benefits. Build and let the life grow in you! Stay grounded, and have an active prayer life. God's word never expires or returns to Him void. Make sure to stay current in it! Rise as good crop children of God!

Even though there may be weeds and negativity around you, Still continue to rise and shine! It's your season!

                       

Love Is God

Homosexuals today are fighting, pushing for marriage benefits because it’s such a powerful institution. but men and women with the consciousness of God are taking it for granted, not thinking twice about it’s sanction, before “getting it on" however and with whomever they choose for seemingly convenient gratification. Lives are fading away and in the balance because society chooses to adhere to pollution and disregard purity. Understand that purity is the only place we find our sanity. 

The exploitation of sex, cars, and money that continually flashes before you is the pollution. Of course any one would look for pure love anywhere they can find it, when what is supposed to be glorious, becomes blasphemous and misrepresented. There is a way that is right and a truth that is Life. Don’t Judge another, but please DO NOT BE DECEIVED! The word of God is the source of wisdom, power, life, and love. look past the affairs of the world and allow your heart to commit, truly.




-April Byrd

Play Your Cards Right

Don't be a statistic! If there is a race card, there is also a Blessed Card. Life deals each and every one of us a unique hand. It is up to us how we play it and whether we succeed in making the best of it. Consult "the dealer" and refuse to stay down on your luck. Even when it seems like we don't we have anything, the truth is we have everything we need to be blessed and walk in divine purpose.

May each and every individual in this one nation under God, as well as the rest of the world seek true love peace, and justice in order to operate as Winners and be a blessing in the earth. May Trayvon's life and controversy that has united so many voices to speak out and take a stand cause those same souls to seek and speak the righteousness and the blessings of God. Live In Peace!

Live Your Best Life

Living Your best life, and realizing the highest vision of yourself is simple: Meditate, trust God, and go for your dreams!

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. - 2 Corinthians 3:17

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Testimony: Kelly Rowland's "Dirty Laundry"

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. - Romans 12:2

Last month, Essence Magazine's new September cover girl Kelly Rowland gave us a lot of insight into her personal life. Kelly Rowland has been in the news a lot lately dealing with the issues of her domestic struggle, violence, and self-esteem. While flipping through stations on the radio the track "Dirty Laundry" struck me as profound. Deep in the since that Rowland was telling a candid story in detail. She talks about her life immediately after her Destiny's Child band member Beyonce Knowles launched into solo super stardom. Rowland talks about being happy for Beyonce's Success, but also wondering what her next act would be, or who would really care. At the same time Kelly was in her crisis, she was in a relationship dealing with emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. 

(Excerpt:)

"And I was trapped in his house, lyin’ to my mama
Thought it could get no worse as we maximize the drama
Started to call them people on him (the police?)
I was battered
He hittin' the window like it was me, until it shattered
He pulled me out, he said, “Don’t nobody love you but me
Not your mama, not your daddy and especially not Bey” (Beyonce)
He turned me against my sister
I missed ya..."

It was the drama of it and behind it that made it engaging, a story being played out that the hearers got to listen to, a peep into her life behind the scenes. The story was a lot different from all the glitz and glamour that we're used to seeing with celebrities. One very noticeable thing about the star is she gives good face...whether it be for the cameras or for the public. Her beauty could easily let her pass for a Barbie Doll. However, the thing about Barbie Dolls is they are plastic and fake. Our lives become more substantial and authentic through divine purpose. Despite my admiration for the plot of the song, I noticed that by the end there was no triumph in the testimony. Yes, Rowland is successful in popularity, but how do we avoid toxic relationships like the one she noted? What lesson is there to be taken from it all? 

The song was intriguing because as people we love drama. Dirt and "dirty laundry" is what some media outlets thrive on. Its through the elevation of our spirits and our mindsets that we demand better for ourselves. Seeking God's understanding for us, is when we go in the right direction and make the best decisions for our lives.

"Come now, and let us reason together," says the Lord, "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool." - Isaiah 1:18


There is one source that can wash away the dirt and truly make us "clean inside". 

Keep The Faith!

Motivation: You Can Start Living The Dream

Moving forward requires three things: preparation, dedication and revelation. To succeed, you must depend upon God for direction daily. - Thomas Dexter Jakes

God created us and gave us dreams, goals, and aspirations. So who's dream are you living? It's easy to get caught up in the lifestyles of the rich and famous, although it looks nice its not always the ideal. 

Its not the best fit for everybody. The only way to know whats right for us personally is to acknowledge and connect with the creator. If you're not motivated to get up and pray and communicate with God routinely, chances are you won't be motivated for much else.

Prayer is the best thing to do regularly, it also builds a habit of consistency in other areas. The things that drive us, what we go after, and why we go after them will affect what we produce as well as the outcome we receive. Our motives directly affect what we produce. If were pursuing money just for the sake of having money, or a house just for the sake of having a house, then that's all we'll produce.  When we intentionally seek God first and go about our day in good spirit we reap all that comes with it. This notion has been personally tested and approved. I have realized how literally nothing goes right if I don't put God first, but the day goes superb when I do. 

Also, Scripture reads: ...seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. "All these things" include abundance on the greatest level and that is truly what "living the dream" is. God's dream for us is better than any dream we could ever imagine by ourselves, and when we stand behind that vision it becomes the motivating force that empowers our dreams and keeps us pushing through reality to achieve them. It is faith that makes the "in the meantime" moments so amazingly powerful. scripture reads: "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."

If that includes money then so be it, but it also includes emotional intelligence, peace, and a personal G.P.S for your soul. It's putting God first that helps us stay motivated. The dream is not the glamorized, commercialized idea pop culture has in mind. It's a vision by the master of creation and the creator of everything good. There is no road map for life, but there is a guide to everything you've ever wanted or could ever dream. God's word is the fresh content daily. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 



-April D. Byrd

*Matthew 6:33
  John 10:10
  Jeremiah 29:11

HE DIED FOR US

“The measure of love is to love without measure.” -St. Augustine

In her enthralling book, In My Own Words, Mother Teresa recounts an incident. A woman suffering from AIDS confided in her: “Mother, when I can hardly stand my headaches, I share it with the pain Jesus must have suffered because of the crown of thorns. When the pain moves to the back, I share it with the pain Jesus must have felt when the soldiers gave Him lashes. When my hands hurt I share that pain that Jesus felt when He was crucified.” That was the measure of love one woman had for her crucified Savior. She knew that He loved her not because she was trying to be good, but because He loved without measure. Archbishop Desmond Tutu puts it succintly: “We are loved not because we are good. We are good because we are loved.”

The Gospel writers often make the statement: He died for us. Those words have lost their meaning because we no more reflect on them. It happened 2000 years ago; now, it is not relevant to our daily lifes. We concern ourselves with other things and lose our sense of gratitude to Him who gave His all, loving us without measure.

If only we stopped to think, we would discover that His dying for us was the greatest act of love in history. Let us consider the implication: Jesus is God, the Second Person of the Holy Trinity, Son of the Eternal Father. He need not have become man and suffered for us. But He chose to suffer to redeem us from the wages of sin; an act of unmatched love for an enormous cause. It is the cause and not merely the death that makes the martyr. And, He chose the most ghastly death in becoming a martyr for humankind. For a moment, let us picture a master choosing to give up his life for his slave. Laudable! We would praise the master and hold him up as a model; the slave would find no words to thank his master. A billion times more significant is Jesus’ death. Yet, do we thank Him enough? His love remains unrequited!

In the Gospels we read of the passion and death of Jesus – the condemnation, the scourging, the crowning with thorns, the carrying of His cross and the brutal crucifixion. Much of what He suffered on the night before His death remains unknown to us. Sister Mary Magdalene ardently desired to learn of His secret sufferings. Jesus fulfilled her wish by revealing to her the fifteen secret torments that dehumanized Him. “They considered me as the most wretched man living on earth”, Jesus said in a deeply sad voice. That is why they struck Him with stones (imagine soliers doing that), and burnt Him with blazing embers and torches. They tied Him to a post and made Him stand, barefoot, on an incandescent metal sheet. They poured on His wounds liquid lead and resin and forced Him on to a chair that had nails sticking out. They found twelve other ways to brutalise Him, revelling in torture that their saddism devised. Did He protest or resist? No, He suffered meekly because of what was at stake – the cause. But, He did lament: “I looked for one that would comfort me, and I found none”. (The devotion to the fifteen secret torments of Jesus has been approved and recommended by Pope Clement II, 1730-1740.)

Why would a man choose to suffer such inhuman punishment? What would prompt him to be reduced to a mass of flesh and blood? Only love. We hear and read of sacrifices made by parents for their children, of spouses for each other, of friends for one another. But they all pale in comparison with the excruciating pain and horrific suffering Jesus took upon Himself to redeem us.

So, the next time we read the words – He died for us – let us stop to ponder the sufferings of the Lord and His love without measure; loving even the unlovable. Then the story Mother Teresa told would be purposeful. That woman offered her pain to her suffering Master – to be one with Him in His pain. Following her example, can we resolve to perform two acts of love: 1) Try not to make much of our discomforts and pain. In perspective, they appear to be no more than pinpricks. 2) Offer that pain – of mind and body – to Jesus, recalling His passion and death? When we have done that our pain would be sublimated and sanctified.

During a drought a tree drives its roots deeper into the soil to find water, so too sufferings push us beyond self-reliance to reliance on God. When we rely on God we shall harvest joy from the field of pain. Another lesson will quickly follow: that pain comes not to obstruct, but to instruct us. In such a state our faith will be confirmed, hope fortified, charity inflamed, and grace infused! Enriched, we will discover that before we are used greatly, we have to be wounded deeply – when God turns our wounds into badges of honor.

Ignatius Fernandez is the Author of the blog: http://thechildisfatheroftheman.blogspot.in/

Testimony: Jennifer Rowell: " I'm Still Here..."

by: Carmen Fletcher

"If I don't survive this it's no one's fault.  I don't blame anyone. Everyone did what they were supposed to do. They did all they could do and I did all I could do. I just trust God and his plan."

...Powerful words spoken in a spirit of peace by Jennifer Rowell. Jennifer 'Jenni' as she is affectionately known, underwent surgery on April 8th, 2013 to remove Mucoepidermoid carcinoma cancer, in which she has lost a throat muscle, upper part of her right jaw, the right base of her skull, and a facial nerve that has caused partial facial paralysis. Mucoepidermoid carcinoma is a rare form cancer that affects salivary glands and can spread to other organs as well; which usually occurs when people are heavy smokers, of which Jenni is not. 

According to statistics this cancer affects 3 in 100,000 people therefore there is not a lot of research on it for alternative treatment options. She was initially diagnosed at age 28 in 2008 while owning and operating her coffee shop Brew Awakenings. After her diagnosis, chemo treatments, and surgery  she was forced to close down her coffee shop due to medical expenses. While she started a new job and new beginning she was informed that the cancer had returned and she would need more chemo therapy and surgery to remove it. Shocked by this unfortunate diagnosis she was inspired to do a documentary about her journey entitled Some People Are Just (Un)Lucky which will debut later this year to raise awareness about this rare cancer. The title was inspired by what a nurse said to her during one of her doctor visits and while it seemed offensive, she used those words to be an inspiration for others.  

"I just had a feeling leading up to it [diagnosis] that it was cancer...I was tired all of the time and had really immense pain. I just knew it was more than a tumor. I also felt like I had been told. I know it sounds strange but I felt like God did in some way [tell] me this is what it is, be prepared-there is no way to not be scared. But I guess so I had some sort of peace of mind going in and it wasn't a complete shock when the diagnosis came and it was cancer. I had already had some warning there was no surprise. So I probably took it well, better than most- the treatments were the hardest part. Hearing the actual words was not the hardest part." -Jennifer Rowell, Some People Are Just (Un)Lucky

      After her diagnosis Jenni was confronted by a wave of ignorant comments and complete betrayal by people she thought were in her corner. She was approached by many with questions and comments like: Do you have cancer because you're fat? You probably haven't been eating right, if you change your diet it may go away. Are you praying at all? God may be punishing you for something. Jenni took the words with a grain of salt and charged it to people's ignorance and not their hearts. To add further insult members of an adjacent church that frequented her coffee shop for meetings and more, stopped coming abruptly upon her diagnosis. There was no offer for prayer or other outreach actions that one would expect from a faithful Christian, or as a basic human response to help someone in need. Nevertheless, her coffee shop brought incredible friends in to her life that remain today and have supported her through her journey. When asked about how she was able to accept the ignorant cruelty of others she said:

"God did not do this to me. Nothing bad that has happened to me was God. God is not evil, people are evil. They are the ones with the capacity to do something bad to someone else. I don't blame God for any of it."  

One week before her surgery Jenni was told that the store where she worked would be closing one week after her medical leave ended; thus releasing her from insurance. This became yet another challenge that she had to face, but true to form Jenni laughed it off and focused on a solution . She went to her pre-op appointment, hosted a  Goodbye Cancer party with friends , and went to church on Sunday. She purposefully surrounded herself with joy in order to get through the procedure and went in with confidence that the cancer would be gone. Despite the removal of  bones and muscle the cancer is gone! When she awoke from her surgery and looked in the mirror she was greeted with an unfamiliar face and new reality. Because of the removal of part of her jaw, skull, throat, and facial nerve her face now caves in slightly and she is unable to close her right eye all the way. She also experienced some nerve damage during the surgery that affected the mobility of her hands.

 As part of her recovery she will need physical therapy and speech therapy to repair the range of motion in her jaw, hands, and lips. As well as getting a weight in her eye to allow her to close it.   A normal person would fall into a deep depression upon experiencing such a transformation and lifestyle change. Not Jenni. She embraced her new look and beginning by posting a photo on her Facebook page three days after her surgery with the caption: I Am Alive! 

"This is the new me. I can't hide it," Jenni said as she explained why she posted the photo, " I'm swelled up a little bit which makes my face fill out. But once the swelling goes down the deformity will be very visible. If people look at me and think ugh that's their problem. They have no idea what I've been through.  This is the new me now. I have to accept it and others will have to as well."

Since she was laid off from her job she enrolled in COBRA for her insurance; which is a supplemental insurance policy that provides temporary health insurance to eligible workers between jobs. The cost per month is $600 ($3600 for six months) due to the pre-existing condition clause. While the insurance will help cover her hospital stay, surgery, medications, future doctor appointments, and medical testing the total cost will come to an estimated $100,000. In the continuous spirit of hope, Jenni has begun a crowdfunding page on Go Fund Me in addition to her friend Takako Warner opening up her photography studio  for the fundraising campaign  Smiles For Jenni. With both efforts the hope is to raise the initial $3600 for the insurance and eventually $100,000. Upon debuting her documentary Some People Are Just (Un)Lucky that too will be used for awareness and further fundraising for medical bills.

      At 31-years-old with a cancer free body and new face Jenni is ready to start the next phase in her life. Jenni enjoys making life an adventure whether she is hiking up mountains, cooking incredible food, or fighting and beating cancer. She does not know the exact path she will take in her new beginning. Yet she is confident in the love of her friends, family and God which fuels her to live her life. Even when you are lost, broken down, unsure, or frightened take pride and confidence in knowing that you are still here.

" It's just good to keep in mind, what you love and enjoy, do more of it, do more living...As opposed to just looking at everyone else's Facebook wall and thinking I should be doing those things...  

I want to make more memories."

-Jennifer Rowell

Some People Are Just (Un)Lucky

** Please visit Jenni's Go Fund Me page to contribute to her cause and/or contact Photographer Takako Warner to participate in the Smiles for Jenni fundraising campaign.**

WILL YOU HELP END IT?: ANTI-SLAVERY MOVEMENT

As seen on www.enditmovement.com

27 MILLION PEOPLE ARE ENSLAVED IN 161 COUNTRIES AROUND THE WORLD. 

WILL YOU LIFT YOUR VOICE FOR THEIR FREEDOM?

The End It Movement is a coalition of seven non-profit organizations that have mobilized to take a stand against human trafficking that takes place around the world and even here in the United States. Today through April 11th , everyone is expected to lend their voice to stand against these acts by placing a red X on their hand and sharing it on social media, blogs, websites, web magazines, and more. Two billboards in Times Square Manhattan, NY are currently lit in support of this movement and will remain so until April 11th.  To participate in this movement on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram take a photo of your hand marked with a red X and post it with the hashtag: #enditmovement. You may also create a youtube vlog  with the same hashtag and encourage your followers to be part of the movement. 

The seven non-profit organizations that put together this movement are: Made in a Free World, International Justice Mission, Free the Slaves, Not for Sale, Polaris Project, The A 21 campaign, and Love 146; with a host of participating churches and other non-profit organizations.  The movement also has road teams that are based on the east and west coast that travel to encourage people to get involved in the movement. Their appearance dates can be seen on the End It Movement website. The movement has also gained celebrity endorsements such as Nick Cannon who created a PSA and spoke about the movement on CNN.  According to the movement's website their mission is inform everyone that there are 27 million men, women, and children living in the shadows in brothels, factories, quarries and more working as slaves. They are here to shine a light on slavery so that there is

No more bondage

No more child laborers

No more sex trafficking

No more 

STARTING NOW!  

  The money raised for the organization assists the coalition to send missionaries and other brave volunteers to collect people from their bondage. So far $188,688 has been raised and continues to grow. For more information about the movement watch the video and visit their website.

I will help END IT will you?   

By Carmen Fletcher

How to Be Blessed In Bad Times

The idea that we run into trouble only because of evil or doing wrong things is not completely true, the Blessing will also cause us to meet with trouble and come into a night season, but what we do in our night season and how we respond to it determines what type of Morning we will meet. 

In the passage, Jacob had been traveling all day and the night finally came upon him, He is tired so he stops to rest, In a recent sermon Pastor Jennifer emphasized that you have to have trust, to even rest in the type of environment Jacob was in. He was in the woods, in the middle of nowhere, with hungry wildlife all around him... in the dark of night. Her Message was taken from Jacob's life. (Genesis 28:10-20...)

Jacob, had issues and in the night God introduced himself to Jacob, because he had to have confidence for where he was going. God gave Jacob the blessing himself and introduced him to a place of covenant. Let your night build you and know that God has got you covered. God will be with you until everything he promised has come to pass. Because of the promise you can endure.

There will be trouble that comes because of the blessing on our lives, but waiting in God gives us the strength to bring it full circle, letting the vision come to life in all it's glory. Jacob rested on a rock... of all things. It's unheard of for someone to rest on a rock, but He was coming in contact with the spirit of Christ, his blessing. A rock or Stone is representative of the Chief cornerstone. (Psalms 118:22) 


After Jacob arose from his vision He was shaking with fear and Awe. He said: “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it.” ¹⁷ He was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven.” Jacob names the place, accordingly and sets it up as a pillar and place of worship and meeting God.

What's striking is that Jacob described it as "the gate of heaven" keep in mind that it was revealed to him in his "night" season and the time of him transitioning. Change is always rough. Our blessing will bring a "night season" but it's important to remember that God is on our side and He is with us wherever we go. When your night season comes don't look to the left or the right, don't even open your mouth to complain, but trust God, become wrapped up in him and enter into the place of worship. 

Sleep in God and trust him, because it's how your joy comes in the morning! You will be energized to continue to engage your blessing with Jacob's boldness and bring it completely to life. Continue to trust God and work to let your aspirations line up with His winning plan for your life.



*Disclaimer:  notes taken from Tabernacle of Peace Ministries under Pastor Jennifer Turner. Notes do not cover every aspect of the sermon its always best to be present and listen for yourself! Blessings!


 -April D Byrd

UPCOMING DOCUMENTARY: TRAPPED BY MY OWN TEARS

On Wednesday April 10th  at 1:30 pm Nicole Baptist will debut her first documentary Trapped By My Own Tears. The confessional style documentary details Nicole Baptist's  journey through an  abusive relationship over the course of several years and her new start as a survivor. The documentary will be featured on the following websites Breath of Life Daily, Ms. Nix In The Mix, and Peace Be Still Massage and Wellness on Nicole's birthday as she celebrates her spiritual rebirth from her journey. The documentary was filmed by Nicole Baptist and directed, edited, and written by C.B. Fletcher.  I had the pleasure of interviewing Nicole before the debut and she happily explained her reasons why revealing this part of her painful past has been therapeutic and is a beacon of hope for other victims and survivors.

Carmen: How do you feel now that you have publicly opened up about your abusive past?

Nicole: Honestly, I am very grateful to have been given an opportunity to share what happened to me. There are so many women who suffer in silence, they are scared to tell people the truth about what goes on behind closed doors – even though their body may show obvious signs of physical abuse; the way they carry themselves cannot mask the pain of the emotional and mental erosion from day to day attacks from their abuser. I survived but there are many women who are in jail or the grave because they were unable to find the strength to make the changes needed to escape the cycle of abuse in their life.

Carmen: Do you regret going through the experience of an abusive relationship or talking about it?

Nicole: While I do have some regrets – the time lost with my family and friends, the years I spent allow me to be mentally, physically and emotionally broken, the lack of self-love and self-worth which aided me in staying stuck in a continuous cycle of destructive behavior in my destructive lifestyle. However, I learned a lot of lessons –about myself and about my partner. I know, going forward, to listen to what a potential mate says and watch their actions. I will never again disregard one of God’s most beautiful gifts to women –our intuition, this natural, hard-wired present from the Father provides instinctive warning signs of danger and I will always pay attention to my inner voice.

Carmen: What was biggest hesitation, if any, in doing this?

Nicole: The impact this revelation would have on my sons. I did not mention some specific information for their protection. My sons are my world and I do not want society to ostracize them in anyway because of my experiences. They are young and have gone through enough. When I spoke to my oldest son, he told me he was proud of me and I need to tell my story. He said, “Mom, you might save the life of another woman. No one should have to go through what you have been through other women need to know how to survive. You’re a survivor mom.” I struggled with my decision but his words made me push forward with exposing my story.

Carmen: Have there been any further aspirations now that you have talked about your abuse, like counseling others or becoming an inspirational speaker?

Nicole: All my life I have been counseling others – family, friends, associates, and people that I meet during my day-to-day activities. Initially, I used them to help me heal my own pain. I had to share some things I had gone through to allow them to see how to make changes in their lives, how to move forward and work through their own pain. I didn’t realize, at the time, my healing was also their strength, my pain gave them passion and drive to pick up the broken pieces of their own lives – the conversations were exchanges of encouragement and support for me and those who requested my advice.

Carmen: Do you have any fears about your life moving forward?

Nicole: No, at this point in my life I have taken a stance – I refuse to be a victim and allow myself to go through any abuse by anyone. I love myself enough to know I deserve better than to succumb to the destructive cycle of abuse ever again. Not only do I take this position with my current partner but with anyone. I love myself to guard my mind, body and soul from the harm any person wants to inflict on me and I do not and will not stand for any emotional, physical, mental, spiritual or financial abuse others my try to impose on me – my self-esteem and self-worth just will not allow it.

Carmen: Do you have any final statements  before your documentary debuts?

Nicole: When you see me understand you have seen a woman who was beaten down, literally and figuratively. I want to especially thank my friends ‘T’ and ‘KC’ who truly carried me through this and inspired me. When the closest people to me discovered the truth- you never said those irritatingly painful words, “Why don’t you just leave?” You understood the complexity of the situation, the emotions behind the my decision, the vulnerability, the weakness, the emptiness and how to transform all those negatives into the positives needed to make the choice to live instead of slowly dying. God brought you in when I needed you most and you both had the right ammunition. I will never forget you or what you did for me and how you stayed with me through it all.  God, thank you, for life – thank you for never turning your back on me and being there in many darkest hours. I am a survivor of abuse – I died, shedding the negativity and destructive behavior and now I am reborn and by the grace of God – I can now live.

Nicole Baptist has chosen not to be a victim and stands before God and the world as a stronger friend, mother, and survivor. 

Be sure to tune into Breath Of Life Daily on April 4th for the premier of 

Trapped By My Own Tears

By Carmen Fletcher