If you haven't already subscribed to Breath Of life Daily Podcast, another great podcast for inspiration that I listen to is "Your Daily Cup of Inspiration" hosted by Dianna Hobbs! Thanks to my friend Felicia for putting me on to it!
Tuesdays on BOLDJournal are "Testimony Tuesdays"! Dianna usually shares a personal testimony or something that inspired her on her pod. Today she shares a story about a time she got in a fight with a bully at school. This message was such a blessing today, it was only right that I shared it. Check out "Don't Back Down" on Your Daily Cup of Inspiration with Dianna Hobbs below! Leave your comments in the comment section below and let us know which part of the story blessed you the most!
Like what you heard? Follow @BOLDJournal on Social Media for updates and subscribe to Dianna's Podcast at it's official website: www.yourdailycupofinspiration.com
"I just needed to take a break from acting because I really idolized it so I came off from it and I went on a journey to discover God and my relationship with GOD..." Actress Letitia Wright of Black Panther fame boldly discussed her happiness being dependent on her relationship with GOD above all else. It's no wonder why she's one of the breakout stars for one of the biggest films ever! Salute to Letitia for being bold in her faith! The limit is beyond the sky when we put GOD's will first over everything. Check out the powerful snippet from Letitia's interview below:
Uplifting Singer/Songwriter and Worship Leader La'Tonya Meori has an incredible testimony. She uses her voice to honor God and she's changing lives with her talent and divine anointing. BOLDJournal was able to catch up with La'Tonya to talk about her gift and how she's witnessed God come through in a mighty way in her life and others. Check out the new Podcast: "An Audience Of One" featuring La'Tonya's amazing story of salvation and what she witnessed that helped take her faith to a new level.
Visit www.latonyameori.com for more information on La'Tonya's new music. updates, and events.
It's like Oprah's words earlier this week were prophetic: Time's Up!
I had the choice today to come down on someone for their fault, or to compliment them and be of assistance how I could where they fell short. This came a day after me being angry at my own self for all my faults, but still feeling grace from God and the revelation to do better.
You will never get people to do right by bashing them from the start, or reprimanding them to establish a point. God doesn't bash us, but there is a number of times to keep making mistakes before its just blatant ignorance.
Let's do better! Let's strive to do better NOW more than ever.
"Times up to ignore the voice and will of God for our lives.
Times up to stay stagnant for our own comfort.
Times up to not be walking intentionally in our purpose."
As I go forward in the day I feel very encouraged to be influenced by God's character. More importantly to seek it before everything else.
Although it's not easy, it's absolutely necessary.
In the beginning of my faith walk, I struggled with many different issues that plagued my mind, regardless of how many attempts to try and block out my past, these issues would resurface and I knew they needed to be addressed.
Through all this, I continued to stand on God's Word for my life. I read the Bible often and soon realized that reading wasn't enough, I needed to apply the principles of God's Word, to my life.
I had to do something!
If I wanted to heal and recover, I had to reach deep down inside, surrender all the pain, resentment and confusion to God. It was no cake walk, let me tell you. However after time went by, I began to realize that the things that mattered so much to me, just wasn't important enough for me to continue to hold on to and allow them to dominate my life.
My healing had begun. Yes, I cried, kick and screamed through my process of healing, however, I still began to find solace in the fact that God could and would see me through.
God desires healing for all and God's healing is available to all. Perhaps today is a day that you've decided to surrender your will and allow God's healing, mercy and grace to come into your life.
Reach out to God, call on His name. He will deliver you. Blessing to all and Always Stay Encouraged!
Growing up on the west side of San Antonio, I believed in god—the god of football. The game was my ticket out of an early life saturated with violence, addiction, abuse, and chaos.
I was raised by my grandmother, because my parents were only teenagers when I was born. They were children bringing a child into the world. As much as they wanted to care for me, the hurt and brokenness in their lives prevented them. "Grannie" was a Jehovah's Witness, so that was the religion I knew. After a while, even that went away.
We were not poor. We were "po." We couldn't afford the other o and r. We didn't eat meals together. We didn't pray together. There were good times, like when we'd go fishing or when my grandfather would come home after work in the evenings. By the time I was 13, however, I looked at my environment and told my grandmother, "I'm going to do something with my life."
Football was my way out of the hell I was living in. I believed it would lift me into the heaven of the American dream.
Football functioned as my savior. It gave me love: If I played well, I was loved by fans. It gave me an identity: I was Derwin, the football player. It gave me significance: I was somebody because I was a great player. And football gave me a mission. My mission was this: Derwin, you can go to college and make something of your life.
Running from Naked Preacher
During my sophomore year of high school, I started to do just that. I transferred to Judson High School in Converse, a suburb of San Antonio, where I played for D. W. Rutledge, the Texas High School Hall of Fame coach. My senior year, I accepted a football scholarship to Brigham Young University (BYU). So, you have a black kid from a lower socioeconomic, multiethnic context with a Jehovah's Witness religious background (whose god is football) attending a Mormon university.
On January 15, 1990, during my freshman year at BYU, I met a beautiful young lady named Vicki Ensign. She was a javelin thrower on the track team. We fell in love fast and married on May 23, 1992, during my senior year. The first wedding I had ever attended was my own.
At BYU, my god had come through for me. I had an outstanding career and later was named to BYU football's "All Time Dream Team." Plus, I was loved at the school. I had the girl of my dreams. I was making something out of my life. On April 25, 1993, I was drafted by the Indianapolis Colts to strong safety. I had made it!
Then I met the Naked Preacher, a linebacker for the Colts in 1993.
It was impossible not to notice a linebacker who would take a shower, dry off, wrap a towel around his waist, pick up his Bible, and ask those of us in the locker room, "Do you know Jesus?" I would think, Do you know you are half-naked?
I asked the veterans on the team about him. They said, "Don't pay attention to him. That's the Naked Preacher."
At this point in my life, I did not want anything to do with Jesus or a half-naked man talking about him, so I tried to avoid him. One day after practice, I was sitting at my locker and saw the Naked Preacher (whose real name is Steve Grant) walking toward me.
"Rookie D. Gray, do you know Jesus?" he asked.
I pretended to not hear him and turned my back. He repeated the question, but this time he was at my locker. Even though I was not a churchgoer or involved in any religious group, I gave what I thought was a very religious answer: "I'm a good person."
I explained to Steve that I was one of the only men in my family who had not been to jail, who did not have a substance abuse problem, who had graduated from high school and college, and who did not have a child outside of marriage.
The Naked Preacher opened up his Bible and shared two verses with me: "And Jesus said to him, 'Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone'" (Mark 10:18, ESV); and, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Rom. 3:23).
Steve explained that according to the Bible, only God is good; he is the standard of goodness and righteousness. Everyone else has sinned and falls short. This disturbed me.
I said, "Naked man, you are telling me that my moral comparison is to God and not to other people?" He said, "Yes."
"God is perfect! What can I do to be perfect?" He answered, "Nothing."
I said, "I'm in big trouble."
"Rookie D. Gray," he said, "now you are starting to get it. You can't do anything to reach a perfect God. But Jesus has done everything for the perfect God to come down and reach you."
I sat in silence. I needed time to think through what he was saying and what I was experiencing in my heart.
Over the next five years, I watched Steve live out the gospel. When my teammates needed advice, they were at the Naked Preacher's locker. Steve was involved in the greater Indianapolis community. He displayed Jesus in the way he loved his wife and children. He preached through his words and actions.
As the Naked Preacher preached, God's love crushed me. I had achieved the American dream, only to realize it could not empower me to love my wife or forgive my father. My fame and money could not erase my sin, shame, guilt, fear, and insecurity.
... Continue reading Derwin's powerful testimonyhere. Inspiration for your inbox. Get the latest BOLD updates faster.
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I am still a virgin. Yes I know. Shocking isn’t it???
I am 29 years old and I am a virgin. And I am proud of it. I have not voluntarily given myself away to anyone. My morals and values would not allow me to go all the way with anyone. My first kiss wasn't even until High School, when at least half of the people my age at the time, had kissed someone by like, age 10. I made up in my mind and was convinced in my heart that my virginity was something special. And I was not freely giving it up to just anyone. I knew then, like I still believe now, that one day I will get married. I was always taught that sex was for married people. Once married, it is then biblically legal to “go all the way.” No guy I have come across deserved my time let alone, my essence.
So I chose to wait. I still choose to wait. Or perhaps, it was the conversation my Dad decided to have with me after finding out I had reached puberty. I can laugh now. my Daddy was trying to scare me. Little did He know, the Public schools had already started teaching Sex Education and I knew a lot more than I led on. (But that is another blog for another time.)
Some people are shocked when I say I am a virgin. Others think something is wrong with me, I don’t like men or I’m just plain crazy. Simply put, I am just a lady who honors her morals and values. I am proud to be a virgin.
My virginity is priceless and will be given away by choice to that special individual that God has assigned to me just for me. Keeping myself is a choice. I do my best to honor God with my whole life, not just bits and pieces. So I will wait to utilize sex in the context that it was created for.
While I wait for my spouse. I will continue to work on bettering myself. I am a Proverbs 31 woman. I am happy with my decision to wait.
So yes. Adult virgins past the age of 25 do exist. Media nor society influenced my choice. In learning to love myself, I have learned my worth. Being with just anyone is not an option for me. Being a virgin is great. It is a wonderful thing. Do not get me wrong. It has not been easy. But I manage.
There are many meanings to the word virgin. I consider myself to be a virgin because I have not voluntarily given myself away to anyone. I have never had sex. I am holding on to this gift until it is time to release it.
What is your definition of a virgin? Can’t wait to hear from you.
I am on a fast (fruits, vegetables,water, etc.) and I wanted to add a little brown sugar to my sweet potato. I'm trying to do the whole completely pure and natural thing, but I was very tempted to add that brown sugar...just a little bit.
Thankfully I was able to resist. If i would have added just a little then, it would be ok to add just a little later and that would determine the course of my fast, I'll start to be ok with the "little things" then they will come more and more, and eventually evolve into big things. I thought about the verse: just a little just a little leaven leavens the whole lump, or in other words just a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough. When we make it ok to do the small things it becomes common place for us to continue to do them and the next thing you know we're doing much more than we expected. Because we made a small thing ok, we'll be cool with continually doing it. I've learned it's not good to play on the edge.
I came across one explanation for this scripture online that said:
“Leaven” is used in the Bible to denote sin or corruption. Jesus Christ told his disciples: “Watch out for the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees,” and, “Watch out for the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.” The apostle Paul employed the same symbolism when he commanded the Christian congregation in Corinth to expel an immoral man from the congregation, stating: “Do you not know that a little leaven ferments the whole lump? Clear away the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, according as you are free from ferment. For, indeed, Christ our passover has been sacrificed.” He then clearly showed what he meant by “leaven”: “Consequently let us keep the festival, not with old leaven, neither with leaven of badness and wickedness, but with unfermented cakes of sincerity and truth.” (1Co 5:6-8)
That last scripture got me and rung a bell in my head"Cakes of sincerity and truth" This can be used in the case of purity as well, just like abstaining from delicacies in my time of "dedication". Cake is sometimes used as a slang term for women's body parts. For a young lady to take the purity of her body seriously is a blessing through God. The scripture talks about Cakes of sincerity and truth.
As a young lady, seeking sincerity and truth, being whole and pure before God is amazing. It doesn't matter what you've done, because being dedicated first starts in our spirit. When we seek to have a pure, clean, undefiled spirit the rest follows, including the flesh. Even though we read the lament that "all of our righteousness is as filthy rags before God", it's His grace that makes us clean and white as snow. Its up to us to accept His love and dedicate every aspect of our lives to him, including our bodies. When we allow a little bit of sin in, it can ruin everything. There are ways I've found that tend to work for me:
Remember a key goal you have in mind, and reference from there. When something pops up you can challenge it because you know what you wish to accomplish through your dedication. (ex: For God to bless your business, heal your body, etc.) People who have a clear goal in mind usually succeed. (Matthew 21:21-22)
Run and pray!! seriously. the bible says flee from sin. When you see it coming run the other way. When something is happening to me and I run to talk to God about before anything. I usually find healing, solace, and comfort. (Psalm 91:2)
Have an accountability partner. This should be someone you're comfortable to pray with. Pray with them regularly. Help give each other strength. It's very good to know someone is supporting you and you have someone praying with you, for you, and vice versa. (Matthew 18:20)
Whether it's through fasting, abstinence or simply honoring God in our everyday lives dedication and commitment is key. Within the time of this fast I was able to attend a purity ceremony in Birmingham and made the commitment to honor God with my life, It was an amazing experience. I feel so blessed. God rewards us for our faithfulness. When we're faithful to God, He is faithful to us and then some. Though His grace exceeds our actions, God set up a life of righteousness and abundances as a reward for us. When we aspire towards a life of sincerity and truth, God's blessings are what we reap. Purity is walking in truth, and truth is the foundation for everything good. Be encouraged to honor God and continue walking in a life of abundance.
I was watching T.D. Jakes message Sunday night and he said "When his mother put him in vacation bible school she was Investing", when he said that I thought of how my own grandmother put us kids in vacation bible school, and I thought about my grandmother. I knew She passed around this time of year, so when I looked it up Sunday and saw it was the exact date she died 11 years ago, I exploded in tears immediately... initially I was a wreck. When T.D Jakes said his mom invested in him by putting him in V.B.S, that part kept my mind on my grandmother and how she had invested in me. Then the pastor at the second service I attended spoke on the same thing: How we can "Invest" in the lives of others. I had to pull myself together being still on the clock, but just to think about it, my grandmother's spirit was everything, it fortified me, She fortified all of the kids she raised because of her faith. I wanted to go into that depressed space and stay there mourning about her, I wanted to grieve over her life, but the holy spirit wouldn't let me. The fact is my grandmother happened! She lived!... and she lived phenomenally! Like I said her spirit was everything. She raised 4 kids in a one bedroom apartment, she worked her butt off to take care of each one of us. She didn't have to do that! Some people don't do that. I get my hard working spirit from her. Another thing that came to light about my grandmother was that she stayed in the word. She always had her big reading glasses on reading her word... and I never understood until I got older, but when we would go to church she would be so moved she would have to walk out,(because that church didn't shout), but something would hit her and touch her so, that she couldn't contain herself and I finally understand what it was. God would be talking to her. When you stay faithful to the word like she did , God speaks to you. Every time us kids were wondering what was up with her, and embarrassed that she was "turning up" in church, God was speaking to her. and when God speaks on such a personal level it validates everything in your existence. It touches the very essence of who you are and strengthens your faith. I get that from her too.
- 1 Timothy 1:5
So I wanted to cry I wanted to wail out and grieve, but I won't cry because her life is over, I'll rejoice that it happened. My grandmother happened!!!!! and the impact she made on my life can never be measured. I can't imagine what I would be without her. God chose to give her me. God chose to let me be raised by her! I'm so, so blessed because of it, and instead of grieving over her history, I'm gonna honor her legacy. I'm gonna prove that everything she did wasn't in vain, that all the sacrifices she made will be put to good use. I'm gonna invest in others like she invested in me, selflessly. I'm gonna Live! I'm gonna continue to live because she lived. I'm not gonna give up! I'm gonna keep running this race til the end, because she did I can... because she lived, I can. She introduced me to faith. Her very being transformed my life. She was used by God to be a vessel, and I'm gonna continue to be a vessel. I'm gonna let her light shine through me with even greater strength than I had before. Because she lived, her light is with me...and it always will be.
Her fire within me
The light that my grandmother possessed is the same light of Jesus Christ. His life was a sacrifice for us all. So we don't have to lament over his death, we can rejoice in his resurrection life and continue to carry the torch. We have the light.
I have to admit that I can be rather obsessive about numbers. Like how many followers I have on Twitter, or how many page views did the blog have today. That is not necessarily a good thing, because when I allow those things to rule my life it becomes a god thing. I personally do not want any other gods in my life other than my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Isn’t it easy though to allow functional saviors to enter lives? I know for me it can be, I cannot speak for anyone else. One thing I do know is that it can be destructive to our lives, because they can become all consuming. Where do you run if you are not running to the Lord? My guess is you are running to your functional savior, whether that is drinking, smoking (of either sort), writing, or even family. Yes I said it family can become a functional savior in our lives that will keep us from turning to God when we need to the most.
It is easy to try and discount that we are not running away from God, when in reality we are. You know I can think of one story in the Bible in particular when someone should have done what God wanted to do but instead he ran away. Can you think of who I am speaking about…? Times up! I am speaking about Jonah. God had given Jonah a plan of action that he wanted him to take and Jonah thinking that he was wiser than God proceeded to run away to the land of Tarshish (his functional savior). If you don’t know the story let me give you a brief synopsis. God tells Jonah that he wants him to go to he land of Ninevah to preach to the people there and Jonah decides he doesn’t want to do that. He boards a boat head to Tarshish. Along the way a great storm arose and the men on board the ship were afraid and began throwing their cargo overboard, until Jonah said that it was his fault. Then he has the men throw him overboard and the storm calms. While in the water Jonah is swallowed by a giant fish. And lives in its belly for 3 days. After that he is spit up on the the shore and goes and does what he should have initially done.
All of that to say when the Lord is our savior we should trust him and run to him, not away from him. He does not have plans to hurt us. While somethings may be unpleasant for us they are ultimately for our good.(Romans 8:28). So please if you feel the Lord pulling you in a particular direction do not run from him and make things harder on yourself go where he is leading it will be a blessing to you and those you are called to. I know there were times in my life I wanted to run away and not follow, it wasn’t until I got on the correct path that things started making sense. I would always run from my calling saying I couldn’t find a school to go to and earn my degree, then the Lord showed me an online school Liberty University which is where I completed my Bachelor’s in Religion and am now working on my Master’s of Divinity.
What do you need to stop running from? Paul Horne is a follower of Jesus Christ, a husband, a father and expositor of Scripture. You can find more of Paul's writing at preachdatruth.blogspot.com
The proof is in the pudding.....means: To fully test something you need to experience it for yourself!
Before I became truly saved & into God, I thought much of what I saw Christians do was fake, until I actually decided to find out more about God for myself. And boy oh boy were my eyes opened, I became more than just a 'every Sunday church goer', I was transformed into a Christian, a follower of Christ Jesus....but I had a hard time trusting Him, I would constantly ask for signs & miracles as if He hadn't done enough for me!!
How many of us do this, knowing darn well that He has brought us out of some things.....? While studying this scripture:
Mark8:12
And he sighed deeply in his spirit and said, “Why does this generation seek a sign? Truly, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation.”
It made me think; "Why don't we just trust God & stop trying to make Him prove Himself?" Over & over God has shown you who He is, by getting you out of this situation & that situation, getting you a new car, a new job, a better home, a more stable life. HE has rescued you from that relationship, that (possible) marriage, that accident, HE has protected you from things that you never seemed to understand because you saw it as a disappointment, a heartbreak or a setback! However, you STILL ask for more signs?!!
When will you trust God....Hasn't God done enough in Jesus alone?!
Are you trying to see if He will change His mind, be unfaithful, untrue, or if He will mess up?
Numbers 23:19
God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?
Isaiah 55:11
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.
God has already shown Himself trustworthy, but how can we find contentment, satisfaction, gratefulness?
1 Timothy 6:8
But, if we have food and clothes, we will be satisfied with that.
Philippians 4:11
I am not telling you this because I need anything. I have learned to be satisfied with the things I have and with everything that happens.
Be Content & Trust God. Don't allow yourself to test God so much that we become like the Pharisees in Mark 8 that are cut off from His signs, miracles & wonders!!
Just Trust God!!
Chancee Christian is the founder of Daughters Of A King Ministries.
Today marks the six year anniversary since I lost my grandmother. She was the love of my life; a woman of God that I looked up to and strongly admired. She had grit and soul. Her life was turbulent, yet she not only survived, but was more than victorious. My grandmother was a helper, a friend, hardworking, beautiful, intelligent, meek and kind. Not only did she take part in helping to raise myself and my other two siblings, but countless other grandchildren, children from other parents, her own, basically a village. I always looked at her in amazement that such a petite little lady could birth 11 children, survive after losing two of them, work a lifetime with her hands, yet never complain. This is a tiny snippet of my great admiration for her and I am proud her legacy lives on within me today. Losing someone you love makes your world crumble. All that you had with that person is now past tense, a memory. The comfort of others in that moment is nice, but slightly useless as it does not change the reality. The pain is so real. Yet, something can be gained from the legacy one leaves when they pass on. The legacy far surpasses the memories. Memories soon fade, but you can carry on the persons legacy with the good works they accomplished, not letting those go when they pass on. For myself, I have taken on the good work my grandmother began by helping others around me. It may not be in the same capacity that she worked, but it is her legacy within me. In addition, her legacy for education has been passed down. One would have never known without her telling them that she had a fourth grade education. Yet, she instilled within her kids to do well in school, and my mother did the same for us. Due to her diligence with us working on our education, many of her grandchildren are educated and carry on her strong work ethics. The epitome of legacy.
I can only imagine, that if she could see who I became as a result of her love and care towards me, she would smile enormously. Six years later, I still want to cry. The pain of losing a loved one is inevitable, but misery is optional. It has taken much time to grieve and I have my days I just sit in her loving memory. I am blessed to have known such a wonderful person and having that person shape my life in so many ways. Her legacy continues on. So today, if you are heartbroken in any way by the loss of someone you love, remember their legacy. Know that their life served a great purpose. Focus your energy on being better because of the one(s) you have lost. Live a life of hope and great expectancy, knowing that you can be reunited with them once more with the return of Christ. I trust that my grandmother would not have it any other way with me. She would rather me live life abundantly as she taught me to with hope, than have my soul die when she did. I have chosen to live with her legacy. I pray this comforts and motivates someone to live in hope and carry on their loved ones legacy. The passing is not the end, at times it can be the beginning. Time will heal and wounds will close. Let the legacy live on.
When was the last time you shared a secret and got a standing ovation for it? Never! Me either. We can all take notes from Sheryl Underwood.
"I was bruised, but I wasn't Broken"! We've all been there. The Powerful words came from "The Talk" Co-Host when she revealed a juicy secret on the show.
Sheryl's presentation of her truth turned out to be one of the most absolute boss moves I've ever seen on TV. and I didn't actually see it on a TV, but of course #SherylUnderwood was trending, because that's how BOSS it was!
If you haven't seen the video already you might want to check it out! (Below):
Share your thoughts about it in the comments section.
There is a lot of speculation but seemingly Sheryl handled the situation with eloquence!
What did you think about Sheryl's share? Do you think it was appropriate? Would you have done it?
Not too many people can say life was nice and easy for them growing up. Dainhen Butler will tell you his life wasn't extremely hard as a young adult, but it definitely wasn't easy. Dainhen went from a childhood that wasn't all sunshine, and went for something better with his life...or at least what he thought was "better" at the time. He got involved with quick and easy money and a life of crime at a young age. With faith and the drive to be better, he was able to turn it all around. His situation has worked out for the greater good, and he is continuing to help, and be an influential voice in his community. In the mid 90's Dainhen Butler was sentenced to serve 10 Years (1996-2006) in Lee Arrendale State Prison for armed robbery. Lee Arrendale State Prison formerly known as ALTO, was transitioned from a men's facility to an all women's facility because of it's violent reputation. Being the son of two business owners, Dainhen rose from the ashes of his past mistakes and now run's several businesses in the local Georgia community: FunTime Moonwalk Rentals, A&B Ice Cream Trucks, and Tender Care Home Healthcare Service. Dainhen also published a book on his testimony- Shawty: Dainhen Butler.
From Nothing To Something Productions produced a documentary expounding on Dainhen's story: The Alto Adjustment iscomplete with firsthand interviews and footage of family's members and friends who were apart of Dainhen's process from inmate to inspiration. From Nothing To Something Productions is sponsoring a screening tour of The Alto Adjustment for youth organizations, churches, schools, foster homes, etc. in the Metro Atlanta area. Check out this amazing story! Watch the official trailer for The Alto Adjustment in association with Modest Media (below):
Author Alissa R. Jones is the founder of Survivors With Voices Foundation an organization to help survivors heal, find their voices, and have a platform to commune. And She is the Author of the book "The Stones That Built Me Strong" a powerful message of overcoming and how with God, hurtful stones can turn around to be the building blocks of success.
I am so thankful that I was fortunate enough to interview her. The way God has blessed her and how she shares her testimony with the world is powerful. In this exclusive interview I asked Author Jones a few questions about how she came to trust again, and how she gets through the hard times of life now. Alissa experienced tragic and life changing trauma at a young age. She was sexually abused as a child and her life begin to spiral into even more devastation afterwards.
She has risen to become a prolific Author, a sought after Speaker and a primary Advocate for survivors of abuse. I won't try to be cool there were tears in my eyes as I gathered her responses in the interview the first time myself. Jones's introspective is Inspiring, Poignant, and insightful. The questions were issued in perspective of Her new book "The Stones That Built Me Strong".
BOLDJournal: You've said you walked through life with hatred for your mother because of the abuse you endured. Did your mother know what was going on at the time that it was happening to you? At what point or age were you when she did find out, and how?
Alissa R. Jones:I was abused by a man that my mother let rent the basement of our home. Going through a divorce and struggling with the fear of financial instability, my mother opened the door to a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The man that rented a room in my home became my biggest fear. My mother was not aware of the abuse at the time the abuse was going on. However I feel as a mother she ignored the signs. During that time I attempted suicide. At the time I felt Death would be easier to deal with. After dealing with abuse for close to a year and a half after turning 12 I finally opened up to my friend Guyia. It’s amazing how God steps in our lives in just the nick of time. Guyia spoke of the incident to our school counselor who in turn, phoned my mom.
BOLD: How did the abuse stop occurring? Was your mother or someone else a part of ending it?
Alissa: After my friend Guyia spoke of the abuse to our counselor the police were called that day and met us at our home. The abuser was made to move out of our home. I thought things would get better instantly but I’d never felt so alone. Even after the abuse occurred she acted as though nothing ever happened. She never asked me what he did to me which in turn made me furious. The saying “What goes on in the house stays in the house” took center stage in our home.
BOLD: What led you to forgive yourself? and those that hurt you?
Alissa:Realizing that I was walking through life with hatred in my heart and the repeated bad decisions I had made throughout my life. After experiencing divorce and dealing with life after divorce, I entered a relationship on the rebound which didn’t last long. He had a problem with alcohol and the unexpected happened where he caused me harm after being intoxicated. That night I pondered on the situation I had put myself in trying to find love instead of letting love find me..I knew I needed to take the time to find myself and to go deep inside of all the hurt & pain life had caused up until this point Not only that – the pain I caused my mother by not awarding her “Forgiveness”
What I started to understand was that God was telling me to figure out who I was & work on the issues I had deep inside. Not fully dealing with the foundation of my life, I was holding in feelings and secrets that I never dealt with.
This was when I did one of the things that changed my life completely. I began a healing practice that I believe was crucial to my becoming a better, stronger personI did a healing exercise- I wrote three letters –
One to my abuser
In this letter I poured out my heart letting him know what he stole from me, how he affected my life, & how I walked through life with hate for him.
One to My Mother
The woman I blamed for it all. I let her know how I hated her for not protecting me and how I felt she abandoned me when I needed her most. I also told her that I walked through life trying to hurt her and make her feel the pain I felt
One to My Inner Child
The last letter I wrote was a letter to my inner child, letting her know she is loved and that it wasn’t her fault her innocence was taken from her. I did this so I could let go of the anger and bitterness I held inside. Once I understood forgiveness was for me & not the other person, I understood that healing could take place in my heart
The process of writing these letters has become the foundation of what I encourage other women and survivors to do as they navigate their own paths towards becoming stronger, more stable people. It was one of the most healing things I have ever done. I encourage anyone to do it and I believe it was one of things that helped me to both see clearly and to confront the things I needed to in my life
There are others who I consider hurt me as well however finding forgiveness made me focus on forgiving them for me and not for them. Life for me became livable and fulfilling once I forgave and that became the KEY point to Healing from the inside out.
BOLD: You're married now. How did you start to trust people again?
Alissa: Yes I am married now and I will say I didn’t trust him or people at first. When I say “people” I mean men. Although the love that we found was great and all I still was battling my issues within. Actually I look back and ask how did he even deal with me and my insecurities and not just leave. What helped me is that my current husband loved me past my scars (both seen and unseen) and the baggage. When I pushed him away he pulled me in- by showing me he was different than the men I encountered before.
When we are hurt in previous relationships as women we tend to group all men together instead of separating certain behaviors. My husband was STRONG enough to deal with the issues I had. He helped me unpack my Baggage. When you ask him how he dealt with it all- He would simply say “Prayer”. That answer alone brings tears to my eyes because he cared enough and loved me enough to Pray for Me and Us even when I didn’t pray for myself. I truly feel his Prayers helped our marriage and brought US as one closer to God.
When a man loves you past your PAIN –it helps you to Trust & Believe that there is this thing called Love.
BOLD: When the unsettling issues or contingencies in life happen to you now, How do you deal with it? are there tricks that you have to counteract the stress?
Alissa:I actually write in my Journal. Writing in my Journal helps me get the words out of me that I feel I can’t say with my mouth.
I also learned to have “Faith” and talking to God. That was something that was missing from my life in the past. When things went bad I would go into depressed mode and spoke negative instead of positive. I am less stressed because I know understand the importance of giving my issues to God to handle. Physically stress is handled by exercising and eating right.
BOLD: At what point in your life did you find God for yourself?
Alissa:I would say at the age of 32 and I’m 35 now. I was yearning to heal and didn’t really understand who to turn to. We attended a church on the West side of Texas and the sermon was on Forgiveness. That sermon spoke to me, and after accepting Jesus Christ as my Savior another Life started to unfold for me.
I began to realize everything I have experienced was God’s way of bringing me closer to Him. Showing me that through even the Hurtful Stones my Life has caused-His hands was on my Life even then.
I stand today walking in freedom of my Hurtful Stones that is
“The Stones that Built Me Strong”
I’m Alissa R. Jones and I’m a Survivor with a Voice.
